It was one of my first training weekends to become a somatic coach. In the middle of my first-ever focusing exercise, my throat went tight, my heart went into overdrive, and I became awash in unbridled panic.

What the?

But did I ask to stop what we were doing? No, I pushed through because I wanted the person practicing to be able to complete the exercise. At what cost to her? At what cost to me?

My intention to help her was painful for me. I felt dysregulated for days. I wondered how I would get through the rest of the course if that happened in every training.

It was like being stuck in a snake pit where every turn could mean sudden death.

Luckily, wrangling with poisonous snakes (in real life and metaphorically) is not foreign to me, so even though it seemed impossible, I knew I could find a way (snake stories to be shared another time).

In time lessons are learned

One year later, I am passing on some powerful tools to help others stop, move through, and regulate the very kinds of trauma responses I struggled with so much.

Let’s explore the term trauma response (or being evoked, dysregulated or triggered).

There are a few dozen different ways our bodies will let us know we are having a trauma response. Your list will be unique to you.

A trauma response is something that happens automatically on mental, emotional, and physiological levels. It is a response happening in the present and usually connects to a past event or experience.

We can have trauma responses anytime our body-mind feels unsafe, or there are reminders in some way of a traumatic experience.

Our job is to help the body-mind be in the subjective emotional present and be with our experience in a way to regulate and heal.

The Essential Practices

The first practice which changed everything for me was Orientation.

Orientation is a simple practice of connecting with the environment you are in. Simply let your eyes wander around the space you are in, allowing the environment to meet you and you to meet it. Orientation doesn’t look weird when you practice it. Plus, you can do it anytime, anywhere.

Simplicity and not looking weird can be helpful when dysregulation happens in a public environment. Who needs to stack on public scrutiny to an already delicate situation, right?

In two minutes, you can go from dysregulation to grounded and calm. In short, the practice of Orientation heals your physiology. Utilize it for everyday resiliency and self-care or when the panic button has gone off.

Next up is the PACK formula. When you use the PACK formula, it changes your entire perspective and physiology.

Let’s get into how this plays out in everyday life

What about patience? What does it look like?

First, it’s important to normalize a trauma response. A trauma response is your body-mind trying to keep you safe. Remembering this will help you practice patience. It takes time to retrain your body-mind so it can experience ease.

Patience is a better alternative than self-flagellation or swallowing a challenging experience.

Next, give yourself some attentiveness. How might you care for yourself when you are in dysregulation?

If I had practiced attentiveness in my focusing session, I would have asked to come out of it as soon as I became dysregulated. I could have found my bearings, making a difference for me in the days following.

Attentiveness reminds us of our value and generates a space for nervous system regulation.

Thirdly, curiosity helps you notice what is happening and will give you new options to deal with issues.

Let’s return to the focusing example at the start of this article to explore curiosity further.

What if I’d stopped the session and shared my experience with the others in the triad? I could have said, “I am noticing I am feeling uncomfortable. I am wondering what it’s about?”. I think it would have been a ‘key insight’ moment.

Curiosity could have helped us connect more deeply with each other and the training. We might have discovered by exploring my response what could happen in a focusing session with people who have trauma.

That would have been way more educational and supportive. I might not have suffered for days, either.

Lastly, let’s discuss our friend, kindness. Kindness removes judgment.

In a moment of dysregulation, I am often harsh with myself. I think this is common among others who have a history of trauma. Self-blame is an underlying theme and prevents us from healing.

We ask ourselves, “Why can’t I just get over this? It’s stupid to feel like this.” Or the famous (and worst), “Just suck it up.”

None of that is helpful, it is damaging.

I’d rather have invested in one moment of kindness versus years of expensive therapy.

Kindness is the anti-venom to a trauma response snake bite. The moment you inject kindness, amazing things happen. You will make room for self-compassion. It will help you be more flexible and courageous. It will equip you to problem solve and make you feel more in control. It will ground you so you can move forward with ease.

Kindness is a balm to the soul.

Never mistake kindness for being soft. It isn’t. It is brave, honourable, and wise.

These five practices will dramatically improve your ability to regulate, move through, and heal from a trauma response.