It’s a classic move for me. S H O V E down the feelings and ignore what my whole being is trying to say. Then forge ahead anyway, ever more determined to keep pushing and pushing…
There is a strong connection between rates of burnout among people who repeatedly ignore what their body is trying to convey to them, and refusing to offer themselves the same compassion and time of day they might offer someone else.
The problem is, we don’t often know what the ‘secret agenda’ is that drives us to ignore the patterns which lead to burnout.
Since I was a small child, I have been burning myself out and it’s wearing a little thin.
I don’t think I am alone in this and yet, sometimes the experience feels like I am.
Do a little google search on rates of burnout in 2023 and you will see burnout is at an all time high and on the rise, especially after COVID.
Burnout appears to be a global issue.
According to the American Psychological Association in the 2023 Work in America Survey, 77% of people reported experiencing work-place stress in the last month.
Ouch. What an insane statistic.
Furthermore, certain sub groups of people are experiencing it at even higher rates than others. For instance, groups in the medical and first responder professions, LGBTQ+ community, Gen Z and Millennials to name a few.
The Definition of Burnout
Burnout can be defined as the loss of meaning in one’s work, coupled with mental, emotional, or physical exhaustion as the result of long term, unresolved stress.
Although this official definition quotes work as being the source of burnout, I would argue that burnout can result from any long term, unresolved stress in any area of life.
Especially, if a person has been exposed to repeated mistreatment, trauma, or pressure to achieve via social norms.
Signs of Burnout:
In fact, there are multiple signs in our mental, emotional, spiritual and physical beings which point to burnout. Here’s the short list:
Emotional exhaustion
Compassion fatigue (it’s really hard to see someone’s humanity and see their story as something worthy of care and understanding)
Lack of productivity combined with feelings of failure
Other Signs and Symptoms of Burnout:
Perfectionism and working ever harder to ‘fix’ the problem
Micromanaging/controlling things which are out of your control or minor
Feelings of depression, hopelessness, anxiety, overwhelm
Loss of motivation and meaning
Low bandwidth
Use of substances as a means of coping
Fatigue and sleep disruption
Aches and pains that have ‘no reason’
The Big Nasty Oxymoron
It can feel pretty grim for someone who is experiencing burnout and the general solutions seem like pat answers which only add more pressure.
Search the internet and this is what you will see: Get more sleep, take a rest, eat well, drink more water, avoid triggers.
I call B.S.
These pieces of advice make sense but they don’t feel even feel doable to the person who is in the midst of a crushing burnout storm.
They are band-aids at best, offering a temporary solution without solving the real issue.
Given this, and my own experience with burnout (at least one major episode in every decade of my life), I think we could all use a new solution.
I have been asking myself: What might that solution look like? Could the solution be similar to the somatic approach to healing from trauma? If so, where would one even start? How can I maintain my high achieving standards and stop burnout from ever happening again?
More on that in a moment, because I wanted to throw out there a few more questions to think about (and take home with you for futher exploration)…
What We Really Need to Know
What is the deeper source of the behaviours and mindset that lead to burnout in the first place?
How do you make the changes needed in a timely way, so as to not create even bigger problems?
What if there was a somatic way to examine the deep source, which gives a person a personal way to heal faster and more easily, without diving into the painful past?
Some Somatic Coaching Ideas
What comes to mind as a place to start is the somatic practice of PACK. Practice Patience, be Attentive, be Curious, and be Kind.
This is actually the first step to supporting a dysregulated nervous system, so it makes sense to start there.
Next, what if I could shift my perspective from seeing burnout as one BIG thing? Maybe, I could look at it in smaller bits?
For instance, usually in a person’s life it isn’t all bad.
There are always one or two things that are just fine, and often way is ok than we think.
In my case, this makes me ask: What area of life am I actually feeling burned out in? Is it all of it or just a part?
Turns out, it’s a part. A significant part maybe, but it’s not everything.
Lastly… What if I could dis-identify from the problem so I could get a fresh perspective?
This is the hard part because I love to get caught up in some kind of inner drama.
But, just as Don Miguel Ruiz writes about in The Four Agreements, I mustn’t get all wrapped up taking things personally.
So, how do you distance yourself from the issue, when it is so easy to get caught in dramatic montages?
By using a little self-in-presence, a somatic coaching skill.
What is Self-in Presence?
Self-in-presence is being being curious, present, non-judgmental, compassionate, respectful, open, receptive, spacious, empathic and warm.
I wonder, if I could combine self-in-presence with the part of me that feels burned out, then could I more easily disidentify and find some solutions.
Maybe I could move from ‘I am burned out and my whole life is a write off’ to “A part of me is feeling burned out, it doesn’t feel good. I am wondering what it needs to feel better?’
It comes to mind, that taking a few small steps towards what might help it feel better is a lot better than those pat answer practices most people offer a burned out person.
Then there might be more room and able-ness to get more sleep, drink more water, and stop taking everything to the edge of burn out.
An Even Better Question
I am wondering if the inquiry to start moving forward from burnout could be as simple as this:What does that part of me that is feeling burned out need from me to feel better in this present moment? What might even be pleasurable in the process?
I like these questions. They feel like a relief. I can give myself some nurturing support instead of judgment or resorting to harmful burnout behaviours.
It’s also a whole lot easier than shoving and forcing down, ignoring or pushing my way through life.
With that way of doing things, who knows what else might be possible for you and for me…
Supportive and Helpful?
I hope you found this article supportive and helpful. You can read even more articles about healing and burnout recovery by me on Medium
You might also be interested in getting a simple tool from me that will help you calm your nervous system in just a few minutes.
Just click HERE to get the tool and to get my monthly newsletter ReAlive. It’s full of delicious somatic tips, embodiment resources, and support to help high achievers come alive, find their sparke, and rebuild— body, mind and soul, after burnout.
You can also book in with me for an Intro Strategy Session HERE.
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