My coach’s desire is to help others and this can sometimes get in the way, both with clients and in my own life. I find myself stuck between being the expert (so I can help and guide) and ensuring I have my sh!t together and being a human with the same struggles as everyone else.
Last week, I tried being the fixer with my husband which never works! How long will it take me to learn this?? To help me be better this week, I thought I would share with you a bit of my own processes as a human being.
In the small ways…I am taking more moments to just observe what is going on around me. I do this with my five senses. What am I noticing in my visual field? What can I hear close to me? What can I hear far away? Is there a texture I can enjoy right now? Is there an aroma I am noticing? How can I enjoy and be present what I am eating or drinking?
In the present…So often I catch myself thinking about the past or worrying about the future. Which makes me get caught up in old stories and beliefs, or gives me some kind of fear and anxiety about what is to come. This is no way to live and is the opposite of how we are meant to live. When I catch myself, I can bring myself to the present by noticing what I am experiencing right now. It brings instant relief.
In the small changes…Letting go of old perspectives about others is a constant practice for me. What if I just approached life with curiosity first? This is a change I have been working on lately.
With greater compassion, laughter and depth…If I am out of compassion it is because I have been trying to control outcomes and am not taking care of myself. Sometimes I try to remind myself of the Mike Birbiglia line to help me move into a better place: “You’re the joke…later.” I end up laughing at myself or reminding myself this will probably be funny later and it brings the current discomfort to a softer place.
To end, I will reiterate something that is becoming a daily mantra in my life. Each person is wise, resourceful, creative and whole. This means they get to do their own work, I get to do mine and we meet together to share our experiences and be a support. It’s messy and it’s the most profound place to be.
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